The Panda Factor

A few years ago, I went to visit my friend Mike in Taiwan for a week, and then we both went to Japan for an additional week. One day, we were sitting at the teahouse at the Golden Pavilion in Kyoto drinking tea on a pleasant afternoon when Mike suddenly said “Can we get up and go someplace else?” I said “Sure, but why?”, and he told me that he was facing the main entrance to the park, and he was getting tired of all the double-takes and gawking the Japanese visitors were giving our table, because they were surprised to see a tall, blonde white guy there. Mike said that he felt like he was having tea with a panda at the zoo. I told him, “Oh that, yeah, I’m used to that by now.”, and he replied “Well, that’s because you’re always a panda in this part of the world.”

The Museum of Islamic Art in Doha, Qatar. One of the most beautiful museums I've ever been in.
Surprisingly, it was designed by I.M. Pei  

The inside of the Museum of Islamic Art

Since then, “the panda factor” has been my term for how much I stand out, or how out-of-place I feel, in any particular country or culture. And let me tell you, in India, my panda factor is off the charts - much more than Japan, Hong Kong, or Jordan. In traveling by now, I’m fairly used to getting double takes or long stares and I don’t even really notice those much. But I tell I’m really a panda to the locals when I start getting people (typically 3 or 4 young men or teenagers) coming up to me to say “hello” or “where are you from?”, only to discover when I reply that those are the only English phrases they know, leading to a very interesting awkward period where neither of us really know what to do next. For those who know a little more English, the script is almost always the same: they ask where I’m from, I say “America - Washington, D.C.”, and they invariably respond the same way - “Ah. Barack Obama!” This is sometimes accompanied by a thumbs up. If the current president ever finds the burdens of office too much to handle, he should be able to find extremely lucrative employment in TV commercials or perhaps a rock band anywhere else in the world, because he seems to be a very popular guy.

A sculpture of Shiva, from the Elephanta Island temples, outside of Mumbai

Monkeys and dogs, competing for handouts on Elephanta Island

Then there is my current pinnacle of panda-ness: the photo with the caucasian stranger. Here’s how this one goes; I’ll be at some monument, park, or other tourist area, taking photos and someone (again, typically a group of teenagers or young men) will come up to me and convey that they would like to have their photo taken with me. Sometimes with the tourist attraction in the shot, sometimes not. Then one of his friends will swap out, pose in a casual and friendly manner with me, and occasionally passersby will get in on the act. Then we all shake hands, say “Hello” and “Where are you from?” and continue on our ways. This has happened 7 or 8 times in the first week here in India, and every single time it happens I have the same question: What story do they tell people about that photo? Do they tell friends elaborate epic stories about knowing this guy in the photo and all the cool things we did together? Or is it just “here’s some guy I took a photo with”? Am I in photo albums or slideshows in Japan and Jordan? Maybe if it happens enough times, I’ll finally trigger the 6 degrees of separation rule and I’ll meet someone somewhere who will say “Hey! I know you! You were in that all-astronaut heavy metal band with my friend a couple of years ago, I saw that photo of you two in India!”

Hmm, there might be a way in this to make enough money to keep traveling. I wonder if I can get Barack in on this action. After all, we are neighbors.

The Gateway of India, in Mumbai. Designed by the the Brits and built in 1911

P.S. The eventual end result of a rising panda factor is, of course, crossing "the panda threshold". This is when I've had enough being gawked at and simply want to return to my hotel room and hide for a while. This also has happened since coming to India

Marine Drive, the main coastal street in downtown Mumbai

P.P.S. Went to Old Goa today and was approached by a group of 6 Indian tourists to have my picture taken with them, which led to about two dozen photos of me being snapped. After this was all done, one of them asked me what my name was and where I was from (no surprises there), and then I'm pretty sure he tagged the photo in his cell phone! Now I'm almost certain there are stories being made up about me... I just hope they're not more interesting than my actual life.