Pinin' for the Fjords

I’ve discovered another thing that the Norwegians do really well, and it’s ferry travel. I guess it makes sense when you have a coastline that looks like theirs, and the fjords are such a tourist draw, but the scale of it surprised me. As I’m writing this, I am sitting on the 7th floor (the panorama deck) of the “ferry” from Alesund to Geiranger, which I passed by twice looking for the ferry, because I assumed this was an international cruise ship. As I eventually discovered, it is a cruise ship that travels up the Norwegian coast, and they just happen to take on local passengers too. It’s a 4 hours trip on this very upscale ship that goes right up one of the most beautiful fjords in Norway, for the equivalent of $75, as opposed to the $200 the tour company was charging for their “fjord expedition”. Not exactly what comes to mind when someone says “local ferry” (plastic seats, screaming children, seasickness), but I could get used to it. The plan is to take this to Geiranger, the town at the head of the Geirangerfjord, a UNESCO World Heritage site, do some sightseeing in the area, and then take the bus back to my hostel in Alesund tonight. So, if the weather isn’t too bad, expect some pictures of misty fjords soon.

Meanwhile, I’ll take this opportunity to share some more observations on Norway and the Weegies (by the way, I’m aware that “weegie” is also a term used to describe Glaswegians, residents of Glasgow Scotland, but I like “Glaswegian” better because it sounds like something sold on an informercial to clean windows). Hanging out in Norway has been helpful for me to refine what I consider a civilized country; civilized not in the sense of being ethically superior, but civilized in the sense of someplace that has a lot of the things I want in order to live a comfy life, i.e., 19th century British Empire in India “civilized”. So here are some of the things I’ve very much enjoyed in Norway that constitute the start of my “Criteria for a Civilized Country” list.

• Bike friendly. In fact, better than bike friendly. More like “bike I-really-dig-you-and-think-we-should-date”. 
• Heated floors in the bathroom. If you’re in a hotel in Norway and you can’t figure out what that switch on the wall does, turn it on, give it 5 minutes, and then walk into the bathroom in bare feet. I’m willing to bet it’s either the floor heater, or you’ve forgotten to put your room key into the outlet that turns on the room’s electricity. 
• Plentiful green space, coffee shops, patio seating, and access to free wifi. If you’re really lucky, you can find all four in the same venue. 
• A system of currency with no sub-units, e.g., dollars with no cents, pounds with no shillings. It makes transactions so much simpler. 
• Business offices open late and close early, retail shops open late and close at 5 or 6. The only place I’ve found this to be a problem is with the aforementioned coffee shops; for everyone’s happiness and safety, coffee shops should not open at 10. 

 Of course, just like with every country, there are things I find hard to explain, puzzling, or even baffling. For Norway, these include

• The weather in summer would take me a long time to get used to, on the coast especially. It seems to swing from 50 to 85, sun to rain, mist to heavy rain, with no real pattern, and often during the same day. Since I’ve repeated seen the locals get caught off-guard too, I assume there’s no trick to dealing with it, you just suck it up when you get caught in the rain, or sweating in a heavy rain jacket. 
• I’ve seen numerous women walking around with hair color I can only describe as “Daenerys Targaryen (season 1)”. I have a hard time believing it’s natural, so why would anyone want their hair the color of dead bone? 
• How do the locals stay so thin? I’ve said this about the French as well, but here in Norway it’s dark and cold 8 months of the year, their food is fairly heavy, and during the summer everyone seems to eat at least 17 ice cream cones a day, based on what I’ve seen. 
• The popularity of TGI Fridays. Of all the American chains to import, why this one? It’s not particularly tasty, inexpensive, or unique (there’s a Norwegian chain that seems pretty much the same). Yet there are about 6 of them in Oslo, and at least one in all the other cities I’ve visited. I can only assume some sort of kickback was involved. 

 After I leave Alesund, it’s back to Oslo for a night before hopping on the train to Sweden, where I’ll try to gain an appreciation for the culture that goes beyond The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Abba, and the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. And build in more time for updating this blog with photos...I’m already seriously backlogged!